


Arguments and Pointless Comparisons

by Bookworm24601



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 17:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm24601/pseuds/Bookworm24601
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically: America makes fun of Russia, England and France bump into each other, France and Russia are civil to each other, and Canada enjoys making the volume on the TV mysteriously turn up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arguments and Pointless Comparisons

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys. For my World History final, my class was given a choice: 
> 
> Take a multiple choice test with a short answer section which only SOME people would be able to exempt,
> 
> OR
> 
> EVERYONE has to write an 'essay' that compares and contrasts ANY 3 events/rulers/anything-somewhat-historical in history.
> 
> We went with the essay. And thanks to my fangirl-ing to my teacher about this show, she allowed me to make a fan fiction as my assignment. 
> 
> So, here's my essay comparing and contrasting the French Revolution, the Russian Civil War, and the Egyptian Revolution.

“What’s wrong, Russia? You too SCARED to admit that you’re even more of a wuss than France?” America taunted, looking over the edge of his square-framed black glasses. 

Russia regarded the idiotic blonde in front of him with ice-cold purple eyes that would have had any other nation cowering in fear and submission. His trademark light pink scarf had gone missing, and as a result, he felt almost naked standing in front of the obnoxious, incredibly loud, blonde man despite wearing a heavy tan trench coat with a white wife beater underneath, long black pants and his customary black boots. As he had so many times, he found himself thinking the man was either ridiculously brave, had a death wish, or was just plain stupid. 

After all, only an idiot would dare try to taunt someone almost a foot taller with muscles to match and was clearly in a terrible mood. 

Especially about one of the most painful and confusing events in his history...

“You should really watch that mouth of yours, comrade.” Russia replied with a seemingly innocent smile that would have chilled any of the other, smarter nations at the meeting. “I may be forced to bash your face in. That would be quite painful for you, da?”

How foolish to believe that threats would actually work on America. He really should have known better by now.

“HA! As if you COULD, commie! I bet you couldn’t even beat ITALY in a war!” The infuriating man cackled. 

Suddenly a voice screamed out, and it was like a gift from God. Russia never thought he’d be so happy to hear short, ill-tempered Britain’s voice, especially since they had never really gotten along very well. 

“AMERICA! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” The Brit shrieked.

America spun around, his smile fading for a second before returning full force. 

“YOU GOTTA CATCH ME FIRST!” He yelled back, his blue eyes twinkling at the prospect of annoying his former caretaker, before running off in the other direction. Russia breathed a sigh of relief and allowed his white hair to fall into his eyes. Dealing with other nations infuriated him. Most of them were scared of him, and those that weren’t were annoying. 

“IT’S ‘GOT TO’, YOU GIT!”

~Meanwhile~

For once, England was glad that he didn’t have long, ‘luxurious’ hair like France. If he did, then it would be significantly harder to chase and catch America without getting hair in his face. 

Although, he really should have worn something besides his long-sleeved, green military uniform with long tan pants and high class boots. 

He ran after the head of dirty blonde hair with a single piece of hair that constantly stuck upwards that seemed to disappear around every corner, feeling his frustration and anger rise with every step he took. America’s boss, Obama, wouldn’t be pleased if he ended up strangling his former colony, but the United Kingdom of England and Northern Ireland felt that it was unavoidable at this point.  
What was he thinking? Taunting Russia like that would only spell disaster for him if he kept it up! 

He turned a corner and ended up running into France, literally. Their heads made a smacking noise as they bumped into each other and they ended up on the floor, England sprawled over France’s body in a somewhat intimate position. 

As soon as he got his bearings, France realized who he had just bumped into and let out his stereotypical perverted laugh.  
“Honhonhon! My, my! What ever is the rush?”

England scrambled off France as quickly as he could, his enormous blonde eyebrows furrowing, his bright green eyes looking anywhere but at France, and his slightly pale face flushing a deep red color. 

“I’m trying to keep America from making fun of Russia just because he pulled out of World War 1 in order to go through his Revolution.” England spat, slightly unsure of why he was explaining this to the pervert Frenchman. 

France stood up and raised one of his own blonde, although much better trimmed eyebrows before flicking a strand of his long, silky blonde hair out of his face. Unlike his old rival, he was wearing a stylish navy military jacket over a long white shirt with ruffled cuffs and red pants with black boots. “You insult me, mon cher. I’m well aware you and Russia have never gotten along. Why would you bother trying to defend him from America?”

England felt his temper rise and clenched his fists in an attempt to keep from punching one of France’s dark blue eyes, almost the exact color of America’s. “That is none of you business!” Spat England. “However, if you must know, he was trying to imply that you were stronger than him because you were able to fight so many wars while simultaneously going through your own revolution.” England smirked as France flinched subtly. 

“Well...” France scrambled his brain for some sort of retort. He couldn’t afford to look weak in front of England. “If you think about it, I sort of am. I mean, it was almost the same thing! The majority of our populations were unhappy with the way things were being done, and wanted change. We both had to deal with extreme chaos and violence, and we both ended up with a weak government that eventually got overthrown!”

“Not necessarily...” England argued, that condescending smirk still on his face. “You already had a somewhat stable government policy before your revolution. Russia didn’t. The Bolsheviks had only just risen to power when it started. You already had the Three Estates that determined everything and a king! Although he wasn’t exactly a good ruler, you didn’t have to go through a complete government reform until after!

“But the reasons were similar!” France retorted smoothly, happy that England was finally giving him an opening to speak. “The people were starving and forced to pay so many taxes, they could barely afford bread while the nobility and the clergy didn’t have to pay a cent! They both wanted change!”

“That’s not true.” Both Europeans jumped almost a foot in the air and England let out a small shriek as Russia suddenly appeared behind him. Russia smiled at them both creepily, although he was slightly glaring at France. “My people were unhappy, but they only ones who rebelled against the government were people who felt that the government was weak and needed to be replaced. They were mad at the Bolsheviks for giving up Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia, and Ukraine.” Russia’s aura darkened slightly and the other two nations gulped audibly. “Next time, get your facts right before acting like you know what you’re talking about, da?”

“Oui...” France mumbled. With a smile, Russia turned to England. 

“Now, where did our favorite little pig go?” The temperature of the entire room dropped another two degrees as Russia waited patiently for an answer. 

England ignored the sudden temperature drop as he remembered how he got into the situation in the first place. With his anger properly restored he stomped off in the direction he had been going when he bumped into France.

“I’M GOING TO KILL THAT BOY!” England yelled. 

Russia turned to France the moment England left. The two weren’t friends, exactly, but they weren’t enemies either, and that was enough for Russia to try and have a conversation with France every once in a while. 

“Now,” Russia started conversationally, “I should tell you that the Bolsheviks were the communist party, and the Whites were the rebels.”

France blinked. “Interesting, we had the rebels, and those that were loyal to the king. After the king’s death, we gained the Jacobin Party that mostly ran everything.” France shuddered with the memory of being forced to watch as thousands of his people were beheaded at the guillotine. “But then Robespierre took power and the Reign of Terror slaughtered many innocents...”

“I had a similar event.” Russia mumbled. Visions of dead men and women, killed in their homes, flooded his mind. “The Bolsheviks recruited an army that they called the Red Terror. They killed anyone suspected of helping or being involved in any way with the Whites...”

“Why’d yours lose, while France’s won?” interrupted America, who had just turned around the corner where England had bumped into France. France watched as the younger blonde ate a cheeseburger from one of the many fast food restaurants he had set up everywhere, feeling slightly nauseous. America, being the glutton he was famed to be, chewed with his mouth open and made obscene sounds as he ate, and not in any way that France might have enjoyed. Noticing France’s disgust, America began to eat even more obnoxiously. 

Russia sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had a sudden epiphany on why Germany, the only country who tried to do anything productive at the World Meetings meant to “solve the World’s problems”, was always suffering a severe headache by the end of the week long conferences. 

“I mean...” America took another large bite out of his burger dripping with grease, causing France to turn a bit green, “obviously the Whites were the heroes, and so were the rebels in France, so how exactly did they mess up?”  
France finally snapped when a bit of food flew out of America’s mouth and landed on his cheek. “Mon Dieu!” He began ranting in French, causing America to turn to Russia. 

“To answer you’re question, little one.” Russia began. “The Whites weren’t heroes exactly. They were just trying to suit themselves. Each person had a different motive for joining the rebellion, and as a result they were completely disorganized. Not to mention-”

America interrupted. “Don’t call me that.” He snapped, glaring slightly at Russia. 

Russia narrowed his eyes. “As I was saying, little one.” He continued deliberately drawing out the two words. “They also tended to steal from the common people. While they had international support from other countries, they didn’t have the support of the people they were trying to ‘free’. It was a huge mistake on their part.” 

France was finally winding down on his rant when America slung his arm over his shoulder. “C’mon old man, why don’t cha tell us how you managed to win?”

France wrinkled his nose in disgust at having the tacky military bomber jacket, which smelled like old socks, touching him. After carefully removing the arm, he began to speak.

“The king was incompetent and had no idea what he was doing. The Revolution was more like a mob attacking the army than an actual army. At that time, we kept all our weapons and gunpowder in the same place, so it wasn’t very hard for the people to storm the warehouse we were keeping it all in.”

A big, booming and obnoxious laugh came out of America’s throat. “Well, THAT was stupid! You shoulda locked it all away inside an impenetrable fort!”

France grit his teeth. “That’s what it WAS you imbecile. They grabbed anything that could have been used as a weapon and attacked. They succeeded because no one saw it coming!”

England turned the corner and saw America. His look of death had gradually faded, only to come back full force at the sight of America. Before anyone had time to blink, he had tackled the North American nation to the ground. 

“DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND YOU?!” England screamed as his hands grabbed America’s throat. America just started laughing. 

“Wassup, British dude?” He cackled, somehow managing to get out of England’s death grip and lock him in a choker hold. 

“SPEAK PROPERLY!” England bellowed. 

Canada, who had been following England, sighed and turned up the volume on the television at the end of the hall. He had always been ignored, or when he was noticed, he was mistaken for his infuriating identical twin, America. The other four nations looked up at the screen when the volume suddenly turned up.

“People are ordering President Mubarak to step down from power, but he has refused. The tensions are rising and some say that it will only be a matter of time before the anger spills over.” announced the newscaster. 

France winced in sympathy. He had never really talked to the quiet Middle-Eastern nation, but nonetheless felt bad for him. It was partially his fault for the conflict, after all. When he built the Suez Canal, he had inadvertently drawn England’s attention to Egypt, causing England to completely destroy Egypt’s economy. England had been cruel back then.

He was broken from his train of thought by the sound of America cheering. 

“YEAH! THAT’S what I’m TALKING about!” America hollered. “That’s right! LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR-!” He started choking slightly when Russia ripped what remained of the cheeseburger out of his hand and shoved it into America’s mouth. 

“Shut up now, America.” Russia hissed. “The people are unorganized, and the government is doing everything it can to beat down the rebellion. They’ve already shut down the internet and any cell phone coverage these people have.”

“Non,” whispered France. “The people refuse to be silenced, and they are fighting tooth and nail for real democracy.”

“One thing is certain,” England mumbled. “If Mubarak refuses to give up power, the people are just going to get angrier. The more the government tries to suppress it, the more resentment will grow until this whole incident explodes.”

France couldn’t resist the obvious jab. He smirked. “You mean like your cooking?”

England shot France a glare before continuing. “This is like your own revolution France. We can only hope that Egypt can pull himself together after the chaos blows over.”

“Net.” Russia shook his head. “The government was strong enough to last this long; it won’t go down so easily. These rebels are fools.” 

“Well, whatever happens.” America chimed in as soon as he finished swallowing the remnants of his burger. “We’re gonna have to make sure it doesn’t get too bad. And if worse comes to worse, we can always get Japan to build some giant robot hero to save them!” 

The three older countries all stared at America before shaking their heads at yet another of his stupid, childish ideas before walking away. Soon, America was standing alone in the hallway with Canada, who hadn’t been acknowledged by any of the other countries. 

Canada sighed slightly before walking over to his brother, placing his hand on America’s shoulder in a sign of brotherly affection. 

“Alright, America. You managed to fool everyone into thinking it wasn’t a big deal. Now spill it. It isn’t good to keep all your problems to yourself, eh?”

America smiled sadly into his twin’s violet eyes. Physically, they were alike in every other way, besides Canada’s violet eyes and slightly longer hair. However, when it came to their personalities, they were complete opposites. Where America was loud and would do almost anything to get attention, Canada was quiet and tended to fade into the background. They still loved each other though, and were able to tell what the other was feeling with just a glance. 

“Ya know how Egypt gets a ton of money from me and my boss?” America started, happy to talk to his brother, who he knew didn’t judge him like the other nations always did. “That puts me right in the middle of this mess. We can’t help his government, it goes against everything I stand for! And we’re worried about what’ll happen if the rebels win...”

“The same way you were worried about how Russia pulling out of World War 1, and how Papa’s revolution was going to affect you?”

“Well, yeah...but France declared war on me! Right after I managed to become independent of Britain too!” America ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “He almost ruined everything that my independence was about!”

“It wasn’t Papa’s fault!” Canada defended, his voice still only a little louder than a whisper. “He just wanted what you have! Just like how Egypt wants what Tunisia got!” 

“I know, I know...” America sighed. “That doesn’t mean I’m gonna forgive Russia though...he almost cost us the war! Then he became a commie!” America spat in disgust. 

Canada shook his head at his brother’s dramatic show. “America...it’s not like he had much choice...besides, it worked for a while, eh?”

“Still didn’t have ta become a commie...” America started sulking. Canada chuckled. 

“Let’s go home, America.” Canada smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> My teacher is awesome~! ^U^
> 
> I'll let all my readers know when I get my grade back!
> 
> (As an added note: The essay was supposed to only be four pages...this is ten...^^')
> 
> Edit: I know this is a little late, but I got an A+!! :D


End file.
